I went on a field trip to Simonstown recently to experience the train ride by sea and go pet the Just Nuisance statue (since, as far as I was aware, there’s not much else to do in Simonstown). While there, however, I found two things: One which made me very happy (well sad, but in a “wow, art that makes me feel sad about something” kind of way) and the other which just made me feel kind of nauseous.

Firstly, I encountered my new favourite public sculpture: Lying next to the sea, at the harbour (just under the Just Nuisance sculpture) is a beached whale. She is tragic and beautiful and covered in barnacles. And made out of painted foam. Though I understand that it may seem odd for me to be extolling the virtues of what is essentially a wildlife sculpture probably aimed at tourists in a small town at the end of a train line, I can’t help feeling that when considered outside of this rather insidious context it is a very moving piece, particularly after the recent whale mass-suicide in Cape Town. Basically, a chance encounter with an inexplicably dead whale next to the sea in quiet town is quite special.

Then we went to the fascist toy museum. The main feature of said fascist toy museum (or ftm for short) is its giant display case of a Nazi tableau. Not unlike a Jake and Dinos Chapman work, it features a horde of Hitlers (as well as his cronies) and ‘lots of shiny Gestapo. There is a very small and faded disclaimer in the back of the case that quotes Churchill’s mantra about being doomed to repeat history we forget. While this is all very well, of course, the toys in this tableaux are actually new, without any inherent historic value, nor any curatorial intervention that may suggest the problematics of playing with them. In fact, they are for sale, with the ftm proudly stating that they are South Africa’s only authorized dealer of these specific toys. Well done.

Wondering further into the ftm; there also seemed to be a lot of displays that really should have disclaimers… Certainly there was a general theme: the British (and occasionally the Boers) killing black people. Everywhere. A good example is pictured above. And this is the history we’re still holding on to?

The last stand indeed.

P.S if you are interested in the weird and nefarious history of Simonstown, come see Sloon’s Battle of Simonstown piece. At his and Charles’s exhibition. Which opens on Wednesday. Whatiftheworld. 6pm.