Down By The Seaside
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Top 10 Things We Learnt From the Jonathan Guaitamacchi/ Jake Aikman Opening at SMAC
1. If you're going to have an opening in Stellenbosch, for the love of God don't schedule it before 8:00pm. If we found sitting in traffic pleasurable then we'd all be living in Jo'burg.
2. Fish balls, even when served as gallery snacks, make people smell funny.
3. When Italians say "Italian" it sounds like "Ed Young".
4. Adding random, incomprehensible "text areas" to paintings that were fine as is and didn't necessitate it in any way will not enhance their artiness. Neither will areas of black drip on white canvas at the bottom of your paintings.
5. Paintings that incorporate Table Mountain will always be cheesy.
6. Despite these faux pas, Guaitamacchi's works are still eminently likable.
7. Jake Aikman can whip up some large paintings fairly quickly.
8. Including works that slyly make reference to other Cape Town artists' boat related "mythologies" is always a good idea.
9. Just when you thought it was safe to put down the handheld mirror, self-portraits made a comeback. Maybe. But only if there's one of them.
10. Everything (including Kentridge) has an Italian equivalent. According to Italians.
Labels: Jake Aikman, Jonathan Guaitamacchi, smac
posted by Tim Leibbrandt at 4:40 PM
4 Comments:
but really though.
it was either leave at like, three, and have to kill time in fucking stellenbosch, or mission out at like, 18:30 and miss the snacks and wine.
I said fuck it, and didn't go.
its mildly upsetting.
and didn't anyone else notice that all the tiny little sandwiches on toothpicks had gone dry? they were disgusting. I wonder how many days old they were?
And please if another person confesses to thinkng that cheesy italians work was likeable I will really really give up on all of you forever. Please just go to a horrible gallery in a mall in outer Constantia and compare the paint techniques. He may be bigger, bolder, first-world kind of crap, but he's crap.
11. Echolocation. How bats and dolphins get around.
Well I'm bats and I get around
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