Eat, Drink and be Merry!
Thursday, January 03, 2008
If I were in a position to propose a New Year's resolution that would be decreed law throughout the art world from this moment forth it would be ”Eat, Drink and be Merry... before, after and especially DURING the speeches!” (fir fuckssakes)
The prohibition of food and drink during speeches was a painful experience for myself and others on many occasions during 2007. A friend described this as an “Iziko Nazi” practise, relating how, at the opening of the Marlene Dumas show, people were trapped like prisoners in a holding pen for nearly two hours. Needless to say there were no seats, no water, and definitely no food or alcohol, despite the fact that at the National Gallery in particular, many of those attending are “Friends”, who tend to be elderly, and are often pensioners. Let alone those who may be diabetic, hyperglycemic, stressed, recently injured, on medication, recovering from open heart surgery, or, horror of horrors, just plain busy and missed their tea.
For museums and galleries to refuse these people food and drink during speeches conveys a predilection for pointless torture that is frightening to behold in a country with a history of violent and arbitrary repression. There seems to be an undertone of militaristic disciplinarianism and downright unpleasantness which is completely at odds with the otherwise progressive agenda of the art world. And a worrying subtext of associating intellectual stimulation with punishment.
What is saddest about this, is that for an art world desperate for funding and needing awfully to create a sense of glowing rapport with their supporters, this prohibitionist practise achieves the precise opposite. The reason why the speeches are so long is that they usually contain a list of Those To Whom We Should Be Grateful, but due to the starvation we are experiencing at this point we associate their names only with anger, as Bob Marley himself predicted when making the very sensible point that “An Hungry Mon Is An Angry Mon”. No wonder he was hailed as a prophet. Perhaps disciplinarians might give a moment of thought to the fact that any one of those maltreated masses swooning before the podium might be someone who until that point had considered how jolly it would be to contribute funding to local art.
Oh, and, another reason to be a bit more welcoming is that this might, unsurprisingly, put reviewers in a better mood.
Labels: drink, food, funding, Iziko, Spier Contemporary, torture
posted by Vince Condesini at 4:13 PM
8 Comments:
24 hrs have dripped by and still no comment. Hmm. There is no advance then on the proposition that "there is no such thing as a free lunch"?
Lizza, this is pathetic! Snacks? Do you not have something more significant to focus your energies on?
As for your comparison of museums not allowing people to have food before or during a speech to that of this country's military past, you are more than ludicrous here.
Why would you be reviewing a show on the opening night anyway, when you are just going to get distracted by (1) artworld punters, (2) speeches, (3) potential shag/s, (4) alcohol, (5) snacks, etc.?????
Your review smacks of Capetonian art scene laziness, Lizza, and I think you are better than that. Well, I had hoped you were.
I am flattered by your faith in me to be really deep, but the truth is my life is run by my stomach. In fact, if history had to be rethought taking into account gastronomic details such as which particular food allergies plagued Adolf Hitler, and whether Napoleon's attention span was decimated by hyerglycemia, I think it would throw a lot of light on had been previously assumed to be affected only by the intellect and the gonads.
It says a lot about the audience (and artworks on display, for that matter) if the food is being reviewed here!
Maybe you should be the change you so hungrily seek: produce a show with a short, witty speech (or none) and an endless supply of snacks and booze to be guzzled down before, during and after the show?
Or just go to a restaurant.
what happened to the days when The Critics were the Snacks?
A hot tip about Napoleon. Did you know that, having won a battle, he would send a message to Josephine to tell her to stop bathing, so that by the time he got home she had become especially ripely cheesy? Thing of that as you're slurping on your next canape.
It sounds like you're going to an exhibition with the attitude of someone owing you something.
Here you go: www.mrdelivery.com
Now stay at home and read ArtHeat
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